The COVID-19 surge is still in our future, and to date, no one has asked one of our dermatologists to put in an arterial line or adjust ventilator settings, so why do we have a bad feeling in the pit of our stomachs? In this Harvard Business Review article brought to my attention by Marjorie Villa from our Sacramento medical center, David Kessler names the discomfort we are feeling. It’s called grief. We are grieving the loss of normalcy, the fear of economic toll, the loss of connection, and finally a loss of safety on both the microscopic germ level and macroscopic societal level. Kessler reviews the five stages of grief. I’ve modified the italicized comments for a health care audience:
There’s denial, which we say a lot of early on: What happened in Wuhan, Italy, and New York won’t happen here.
There’s anger: You’re making me cancel surgeries and clinic, provide remote care, and/or work outside of my specialty.
There’s bargaining: Okay, if I just gut this out for 4-8 weeks, everything will be better, right?
There’s sadness: I don’t know when this will end.
And finally there’s acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed. Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance. I can work outside my normal hours and scope of practice. I can do less than perfect and still be a valued contributor to a noble cause. My body sinks like a rock, wet suits make me look fat (even in black; how could that be?) . . . but I can learn to surf. I will learn to surf.
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